Mother’s Day is on my mind. My oldest just turned 13 last week. Let me say that again, THIRTEEN! I have been a mother for 13 whole years now. What a learning curve it has been. In many ways I feel well equipped, and in other ways, I worry I am screwing this whole thing up and they all will need lots of therapy as adults. I fear that I am failing them- weakness and imperfection are real problems that we project. But here’s the thing, the way we conquer life in the midst of this free-for-all, are the real teaching moments. They are learning forgiveness, compassion, and acceptance– tools necessary for life in the “big world.” It really does start in the home. Instead of fixing their problems and making life as comfortable for them as possible, our roles are to get them familiar with freedom- practicing making choices and dealing the consequences that aren
‘t always comfortable. Living in love and not fear. I could go on and on, but this post isn’t really about that. (If you are interested on this parenting philosophy further, I highly recommend reading- Danny Silk, Loving Our Kids on Purpose.) I’ll leave the parenting advise to the real experts.
Motherhood is something to celebrate, no matter what that looks like for you. Pregnant? Adopted? In the throws of life with 1, 2, 3..? Here’s the part where I try to convince you to give me a try. Ready? Soooooo if you are tired of JC Penny-ish pictures: perfectly coordinated hair and clothes, a location everyone uses, perfectly cued smiles– masking the fighting that happened while getting ready for “said” shoot, then I’m your girl. I capture you as you are- don’t be scared. Motherhood and families are not perfect, pretending that they are is the biggest lie we can ever tell ourselves. Having this expectation is a recipe for misery and failure. Maybe you need a perfect picture to get you through the not-so-perfect days. I respect that. Those photos do look great above the mantel. I’m just saying, from the perspective of someone who has graduated from the baby and toddler days, I miss seeing my family for who we really were. I miss the toothy grins, tear-stained cheeks, Cheerios stuck to every possible orifice, wily hair, droopy diapers, temper tantrums (yep, I just said that!), dirty knees from a hard afternoon playing. I MISS ALL OF IT. Imperfectly perfect, but I was too busy chasing perfection to see it. Let me show you your life. It’s unique and beautiful, and so very special. You will fall in love with your family, you will see what I see, and let me
tell show you, it’s amazing.
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